my life - my choice - my destiny

choices - the luxury of life? changes - is it an option?

Sunday, February 27, 2005

BLUE Sapphire..

Precious Stone.. (definition)

  • Any of several gems, including the diamond, emerald, ruby, and sapphire, that have high economic value because of their rarity or appearance.


Sapphire.. (definition)

  • A clear hard variety of corundum used as a gemstone that is usually blue but may be any color except red.

  • A corundum gem.

  • The blue color of a gem sapphire.


Sapphire is ruby’s sister stone. Legend states that sapphire was considered a remedy for various ailments, poisons, melancholy and even eye problems. Sapphire is actually made of the same mineral that ruby is made from—corundum. Red corundum is called ruby and all other colors are called sapphire. And sapphire does come in many colors. A rich, velvety blue is the most popular, but sapphire may also be pink, orange, yellow, violet, green, brown, colorless or black.

The terms yellow sapphire, purple sapphire, and green sapphire are used alternatively with Oriental topaz, Oriental amethyst, and Oriental emerald for other varieties of corundum.

Sapphire may be faceted or dome-shaped. A luminous star may be seen in stones whose internal structure is just right.

Hyperventilation vs Panic Attacks

Hyperventilation
In hyperventilation (hi-per-ven-tuh-LAY-shun), your breathing is so rapid that it upsets the balance of gases in your blood. One of these gases is carbon dioxide. Hyperventilation reduces the carbon dioxide level in the blood, causing symptoms that resemble a heart attack.

Causes
Hyperventilation is usually brought on by anxiety, stress, or hysteria.

Signs/Symptoms
Common symptoms are shortness of breath; fast breathing; chest pain; weakness; dizziness; and numbness and tingling around the mouth, hands, and feet. You may have blurred vision, feel like your heart is racing, have muscle tightness in your hands and feet, or feel faint.

Care
Since it is hard to avoid stress, try to control it. Learn new ways to relax (deep breathing, relaxing muscles, meditation, or biofeedback). Talk to someone about things that upset you.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO

  • During an attack, try to slow your breathing. Take 1 breath every 10 seconds.

  • Do not breathe into a paper bag. This can be dangerous because you may not get enough oxygen.

  • You may need help to deal with the stress or anxiety that may be causing you to hyperventilate. Family, friends, clergy, your doctor, or a mental health center may be able to help.




Panic Attack
Panic attacks are a type of anxiety disorder. They are marked by overwhelming feelings of fear that last anywhere from a few minutes to an hour or two. They may strike for no apparent reason. The problem can usually be treated with a combination of counseling and medicine. If not treated, the attacks can lead to more severe problems.

Causes
Illness, stress, or certain medicines may trigger the first attack. Past injuries and dangers may also be a factor. Fear of additional attacks can actually set them off.

Signs/Symptoms
Adrenaline (uh-DREN-uh-lin), a chemical made by your system in response to danger (real or imagined), causes many of the body changes typically felt during a panic attack. Among these symptoms are a feeling of dread, fear, or danger; a fast heart rate and breathing; trembling; upset stomach; dry mouth; sweating; dizziness or fainting; and sometimes diarrhea. You may also feel detached from the people or things around you.

Care
The doctor may run tests for underlying physical disorders. Certain tranquilizers and antidepressant medications can relieve the attacks. Counseling may help you understand the cause of the panic and prepare you to deal effectively with the attacks. Learning to relax through muscle relaxation or biofeedback techniques can reduce your overall level of anxiety.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO

  • Don't smoke, use drugs, drink alcohol, or take high-caffeine foods and beverages such as coffee, tea, soda, and chocolate. They can either cause anxiety or make your symptoms worse.

  • Try to spend time outdoors.

  • Get plenty of rest.

  • Muscle relaxation or aerobic exercise (such as walking) can help you relax. Ask your doctor to recommend the best exercise program for you.

  • Take any medications exactly as prescribed. Do not change the dosage. If you feel the medicine is not helping, let your doctor know; but don't stop taking it on your own. It is important to stick with a regular program of therapy.



Friday, February 25, 2005

done!!

yeah!.. did the newspaper ad.. jus 20min b4 the cut-off time.. piece of cake!!.. shdnt hav procrastinated so long.. i jus hope nothing goes wrg..

i can stay at home in peace tis wkend.. next is the big/expensive decision on hand.. STOP PROCRASTINATING!!

Thursday, February 24, 2005

okie.. happy postS..

ONE
i passed my jlpt4!!.. *grin*

TWO
its no longer CNY today onwards.. so NO STRANGER can come shake hand w mi again.. (for no fucking reason).. *wide grin*

THREE
total ang pao count *wide wide grin* :-

    Received..
  • SGD ang pao - 5
  • MYR ang pao - 10
    Given..
  • grandparents - 4

itai!!!

headache again.. its happening almost daily now.. nope.. not fr air-con.. its psychological.. i noe.. which is a bad ting cause u cant make it go away simply by sleepy more or jus sleeping in the perfect temperature.. *headache*

tear duct is also losing ctrl.. from tv dramas to listening to ppl to stoopid thoughts to songs.. every single thing jus wanna start the flow.. it used to b controllable w a switch.. but keeping up w times.. it has became a sensor.. u noe.. jus like those automatic taps u get these days.. u can no longer ctrl it.. .. give mi more air.. *gasping*

*giddy*

my turn pls..

3 staffs resigned.. i jus wish i was 1 of them.. but instead i was to post an ad for the replacements.. n kena fucked becoz the job wasnt done yet.. FUCK OFF mann.. these r NOT the things i wanna do in my life.. .. jus take mi away..

Quiz: Shd a person help his family n hav his life messed up.. OR shd he live his own life n to hell w family ties to stay a happy person?

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

the pt of no return~

some fucking stoopid idiot went to touch my air-con temperature n that's it.. i wake up w a bloody headache..

say i'm pampered.. say i'm weak.. say i'm sensitive.. watever.. BUT there is only tis 'PERFECT' temperature i can take.. jus 2 nodge higher(mine is the old type.. no digital temperature ctrl).. I GET HEADACHE.. 2 nodge lower.. i get too cold for rested sleep..

SO.... DO NOT TOUCH MY AIR-CON.. ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.............. *headache*

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

worst food!

sheesh.. read the sunday times?!

bread n biscults (my favourite food) can actually be worse than hawker food.. TRANS FAT!! its not easy to avoid.. oh 1 gd news thou.. Lay's potato chips r free of trans fat.. hmm.. must rem to get more.. lol

unhealthy food log for today:-
WTF!! at least its TRANS FAT free.. i tink..

b/f: 2 bawang prata + yuan yang..
lunch: char kway tiao + hot green tea..
dina: mayb rojak.. or anything unhealthy..

Friday, February 18, 2005

sales ppl again..

wat can i say.. u get info when u r in 1 co.. then u jump ship u take the info over.. is that wat's suppose to b done?!.. i'm confused.. n i really dunno coz i hope i'm free fr the sales world.. *praying hard*

job opportunity..

shit mann.. one will nvr go out of job..
on n off.. ppl will come up with mistakes n it'll keep u bz (thus making sure u'll keep ur job for a while coz there'll b endless of tis kinda stuff to settle)..

like for no reason the bank call up.. intro u an insurance(by the bank's insce side)..

so they get the a/c no. from their card centre (coz bascially they r same co.) to deduct the policy premium..

then few mths later.. they sent u a letter saying they cancel the policy coz they cant deduct any premium..

call the insce side.. they say they got a/c no. fr card centre.. mayb card centre give them wrg a/c no.

call the card centre.. they say the a/c no. is not valid (which is not surprising coz we cant trace the a/c no.).. n also say that insce side might hav take down the wrg a/c no.

CRAP!!.. so who fault izzit now?!.. IT IS YOU PPL who want to sell us the insce n earn our $.. OK!!! so i hav to make sure u get the right a/c no. n BEG YOU to deduct my $ izzit!!

stoopid corporate world.. tink we shd jus do W/O the policy..

blar.. i SHD jus go teach in some third world country..

Thursday, February 17, 2005

shake-hand-person no.4

well tis jus for the record.. i saw tis person walking straight in.. tried to avoid eye contact.. yet.. din managed to avoid handshake.. but at least i tok to tis person b4.. n at least he noticed my black face.. well not that it makes a diff to mi.. anyway.. back to work..

there are things called..

unrested sleep..
unrefreshed weekends..
unrecharged holidays..

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

shake-hand-person no.3

jus look at my face ppl!.. it says.." i'm not in cny mood so jus stop shaking hands w mi!!" as if u really wish mi well for the yr.. jus fuck off ppl.. u wldnt even rem how many handshakes u had by the end of the day.. dun do it jus becoz everyone does.. what fucking meaning does it have!?

DAMN IT!

wat is fucking wrg mann.. INSOMIA!! n i got class tonite.. arghhh..

rooster year

is it really true that tis is not a gd yr for mi?

jus 1 week into the rooster yr n i've screwed up so many times..

tell mi i'm jus being supersitious..

this is jus abt 2 dumb ppl

2 dumb ppl jus keep gg in circles.. chasing each other's tail.. letting history repeats itself again n AGAIN!.. usually it happens when one does not learn from mistakes..

perhaps it cld b that the mistakes cld not b fully understood that results in dumb repetition.. or mayb the worst ting is the 2 dumb ppl r far more stubborn than dumb.. so even if they r smart enuff to noe the mistakes.. they r jus plain stubborn..

dumb or stubborn? i'm not too sure.. but the sure ting is.. 1 person is dumb to keep gg thru the endless process.. but mayb there is the reason of an attached emotional string.. but the other 1 is dumber coz there is nothing to hold on to.. jus plain stoopid..

i suppose dumb ppl get tired too.. the dumber 1 was tired all the while.. but being the dumber one.. the benefit of doubt is always given.. mayb the dumb one is getting real tired too..

what will happen next.. i dunno.. coz u nvr noe wat dumb ppl might do..

Monday, February 14, 2005

jus hav to face it huh?!

well.. another person jus did the same ting(n worst still i was busy toking on the phone).. wats a handshake?!.. i really dun understand..

okie.. i'm the abnormal one in tis society huh.. mayb my face is too black for a new year?! but who cares?!

strangers

i jus hate to interact w ppl i dunno.. i'm forced to shake hands(ok nobody pt a gun at mi) w somebody i dunno.. ok its cny but i'm in bad mood today.. n tis guy(my boss's fren or client or whoever) jus stretch out his hand like i'm some old fren.. jus fuck off ppl.. i'm in bad mood SINCE SAT..

..

the world is a dangerous plc to b in.. by assuming n being complacent.. u might eventually kill yourself w/o even knowing why..

Sunday, February 13, 2005

wat shall i do today?

having spent all my CNY at my grandparents hse in msia every year ('cept 2003 where my whole famile went china).. i dun noe wat to do today.. coz i was nvr bac w a day on my hands b4 sch/work starts..

at tis time now.. i dun hav to worry abt anything coz i'm already being called to work.. but wats after lunch? feel like nuaing at home but dun wanna waste the last off day..

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

bye bye.. monkey year!

last b/f of the year - 2 tinee weeny kosong pratas that barely fill the corner of my stomach n yuan yang (coffee n tea mixed)..

sigh.. oh well.. tis is blogging for the sake of blogging.. jus bored.. due to head back to my hometown.. (eh.. more of my parents hometown in msia..) still yet to pack.. no new clothes to pack anyway.. cant wear my new Kayano too.. dun wanna dirty it.. =P

cant imagine the reunion dina is tonite.. no festive mood at all.. (oh.. but somebody jus call to wish mi happy new yr.. hee.. he dun hav to.. be it personal or biz.. its nice..)

20 over years of the same procedure.. alot hav changed.. cousins hav grown up.. which means i hav grown too.. (u noe ppl always say looking at kids grow tell u have aged.. sad but true..) so over the years.. tis serves as a yearly reminder.. not that i needed that.. but it isnt an option.. (btw my sis n i are the oldest at my maternal side n the next nearest is 7yrs younger.. i tink the youngest is abt 5yr old?? i dunno.. i've long lost track or rather i dun wanna keep track anymore..)

n ya.. i'm already receiving ang pao from 2 of the only 3 cousins older than mi (paternal side)..

oh boy.. i'm really glad my parents n relatives r not those that pressure u abt getting married n stuffs.. actually i wish i were.. but currently i noe my reasons r WRG.. (u noe.. jus an escape..) so not likely in the near future.. anyway i've yet to play enuff..

the long deafening sound of red fire crakers due 13hrs away.. that will mark the new year whether u feel it or not..

Here's wishing everybody:

新年快乐!事事顺心!

Monday, February 07, 2005

lost in the mail?

its already the eve of CNY's eve.. n the only greeting card i sent out hav no news at all.. either its lost in the mail.. or lost at the plc after the postman safely delivered it..(i once found a 1yr-old mail addressed to mi in my home.. unopened..) sigh.. now i regretted sending totally.. wasted card n stamp.. blar..

Sunday, February 06, 2005

SOLD!

woohoo.. i sold my 2.5mth old mobile phone (Nokia7610).. thks to hardwarezone.. this is the 2nd time i sold my phone thru an ad on hardwarezone.. (actually b4 the transaction i was getting rather paranoid abt the buyer running off w my phone after a fren keep telling abt the dangers of such trading.. but now i'm very pleased w myself coz all went well..)

CASH in hand.. *grin* but phone-less..

the up-coming task is.. wat phone next??.. seriously tinking of jus getting a PHONE phone.. jus something cheap for calling n sms-ing.. i realised i really dun need anything fancy.. i got sick of them real fast anyway.. so i shd go for cheap ones.. to cater for fast chging.. =P

----------
oh! took my kayano out for a walk to do the above sale.. gd!.. bouncy.. hee..
----------

Presenting.. ..

the proud owner of Gel-Kayano XI.. *wide wide grin*

Friday, February 04, 2005

my very first sinseh visit

memories.. i walk into the sinseh shop.. the lady took out my card.. i saw the first n only visit date - 23/08/2002.. that was the period where i did hell lot of crazy stuffs.. that was the time i broke free fr my cinderella curfew.. got drank the first time.. .. n ya sprain my ankle real bad due to being drank that previous nite..

how time flies.. its been almost 2.5yrs..

note: followers of my previous blog wld hav come across that sprain ankle entry of mine.. =)

sinseh visit

the dilemma
i've walked to the sinseh's shop.. walk in.. walk out.. walk to the door.. walk back.. (well its near my office.. so i can afford to do that.. =P).. chg my mind countless times abt letting the sinseh take a look my injured wrist.. reason being.. its not hurting but yet its not healing.. i jus dun wan to appear a winer.. making a fuss when actually there's nothing wrg.. n also "a look" will set mi back by $20+..

the deciding factor
so i finally stepped in tis evening coz it appear slightly swollen tis morn coz i keep straining it thruout my daily activities like closing a sliding door.. taking a heavy file out.. etc.. (i guess the worse part is its my master hand n its not hurting so u jus do everything as per normal..)

the visit
the sinseh turn my wrist in all 4 directions to check where the pain was.. but not 1 pt was painful.. (sigh.. i regretted stepping in again at those moments).. after checking.. the usual was done.. soaking in hot medicated water.. some rubbing.. then wrapped up w med.. n some med to take..

the outcome
the difference betn trying to self-heal at home was that the sinseh told me that my wrist guan jie is loose.. mann!!.. wat is that!?.. well i guess can only b more careful.. i dun think there's a cure.. is there?!

URGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

sigh all tings in the world r so inter-related..

where shd tis start.. ok wed..

WED..
i had class n i'm suppose to go home early after class to complete some work (extra work due to CNY.. so naturally it had to been done b4 CNY..) but i hang out till midnight n dint go home to finished the work..

RESULT: mum got angry w mi.. coz she still called mi right after class to ask mi to go home.. n mum work till abt 0130

THU.. (afternoon)
A climbing session was scheduled in the evening..
In the afternoon i heard that my mum tried to do the work n broke something that cos abt $250.. feel quite bad coz its mi who delayed the completion.. had wanted to go home in the afternoon to finish the work.. but things got delayed..

RESULT: i gave up the climbing session n went home to do the work..

THU.. (evening)
did some work.. but mum needs to go out.. n i cant really do the work by myself.. so feeling kinda bored n w time on my hands.. i figured i can go to the hairdresser n do something to my hair (since its gonna b CNY..) aunt offered to send mi there (if not i wld hav been too lz to make it happen..)

RESULT: i spent $30 on a color treatment instead of only $6 on climbing..

FRI..
suppose to complete the work..

RESULT(of yest's color treatment): woke up w various stains on my pillow!!! n my bedsheet is kinda new.. WTF!
the hairdresser did warn mi that the color will still run.. but of cos only when its soaked.. like hair-washing/drenched in rain or something.. BUT NO.. it runs when u perspire.. arghhhH!!!


ITS ALL THE HAIRDRESSER's FAULT.. no.. ITS MY MUM's FAULT(too eager have get the job done).. no.. ITS CNY's FAULT.. oh well actually ITS MY OWN FAULT.. sigh..

I SHD HAV JUS GONE HOME EARLY ON WED.. 'qian(2) yin(1) hou(4) guo(3)'..

Thursday, February 03, 2005

sales ppl!

i was caught off-guarded.. actually i was nvr on guard.. but tis is such a scary world..

27/01/05(Thu)
i was attending a software seminar of a co.. so after look thru all the phamlets n waiting for the presentation to start.. i jus took out my jap notes n start memorising.. n tis lady beside mi.. saw my notes n started a conversation on studying jap.. so i jus chatted..(actually i was quite displeased that she interrupted my studying n i'm not a person who like to chit-chat w strangers)..

so anyway i tink i only gave her my name n co. name..(that much info.. wait.. i probably din even give her my co. name.. but she probably saw my visitor's tag..) and her name is Adeline..

28/01/05(Fri)
i received a cold call fr some co. mentioning that they noe i'm interested in the software, then said.. "rem the lady who sat beside u, Adeline.." (i'm pretty sure tis co. is NOT related to the co. that organised the seminar..)

anyway i agree to meet the guy since i dun care which co. as long as they give mi the best service n price..

02/02/05(Wed)
so ta da!!! the guy that called came.. toge w Adeline - Business Manager..


wat can i say.. i can nvr comprehend the sales world..